A lot of theories have been floated as to the origins of the schism in football that led to the attempted suicide of the beautiful game under the guise of the “European Super League”.

John Barnes said spiralling players salaries are to blame. Jamie Carragher and Gary Neville have accused the ‘big six’ clubs of being motivated solely by greed, “this is a grab, an absolute grab”. The Trump-like conspirator-in-chief Florentino Pérez blames the pandemic (publicly at least).

Certainly the eternal lust for money is a factor, but football and greed have been happy bedfellows for decades without actually destroying…

With the world on lockdown and a plethora of streaming services just begging to relieve you of your boredom – and the last of your cash – there’s never been a better time to finally scratch that itch and watch the 2018 oddity Solo: A Star Wars Story.

Who would’ve thought the origin story of the most beloved, charismatic smuggler in this galaxy – or any other – would prove to be Disney-Lucasfilm’s Waterloo?

I won’t bother summarising the plot as there isn’t one to speak of; where other films use narrative to tell a story, Solo: A Star Wars…

By Jason Mendoza via Milnersblog

Or rather: “Fixing The Rise Of Skywalker”.

Or should I say: “Fixing Luke Skywalker”.

Really, it’s all same thing.

The Last Jedi metastasised a fetid, Luke Skywalker-shaped lump in the heart of Star Wars: it was necessary that Episode IX dig it out if the patient was to heal. Sadly, while The Rise of Skywalker did make the critical incision, it failed to remove all the rancid tissue and, by consequence, Star Wars is now destined to wither and die.

I didn’t think any version of Episode IX could’ve turned out well. Colin Trevorrow’s proposed “Duel of the Fates” fails…

“Well somebody’s got to write these things. And the same can be said for collecting garbage and shovelling snow. It doesn’t matter whether you like it or not — a job’s a job.

For three and a half years, I’d been making this kind of contribution to society. Shovelling snow, you know, cultural snow.”

— Haruki Murakami, Dance, Dance, Dance

J.J. Abrams & Chris Terrio’s The Rise of Skywalker feels like shovelling snow.

If you’re anything like me, Star Wars has worn you out. Your back’s killing you, you’ve just about had enough and for a long time now it’s…

A cavalcade of erudite, learned film critics couldn’t be wrong… could they?

The film opens with the Resistance fleeing after their secret base has been discovered by the First Order

With Episode VII — The Force Awakens, the story tethered new characters to old favorites while echoing the familiar beats of the ’77 movie, playing more like a soft reboot than a straight sequel […] The Last Jedi ditches the galaxy far, far away for uncharted territory: the future

(Matt Patches, Thrillist)

Kill Bill, the whole bloody affair, isn’t Tarantino’s best (not even close) nor his worst, it’s middling. A Tarantino home run is to be savoured (Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown), and I can also forgive a swing-and-a-miss (The Hateful Eight), but he should never serve up mediocrity. If this film were an episode of Friends it would be called “The one where Quentin aimed low and still missed the target”.

It’s a ripe genre flick that spends much of its running time nudging you in the ribs whispering “this is just throwaway fluff, so relax and have fun”. There’s nothing wrong…

After four failed attempts to resurrect the Terminator series, it’s time for Hollywood to accept the truth: Terminator 2: Judgment Day murdered the franchise.

“Not true!” I hear James Cameron, Jonathan Mostow, McG, Alan Taylor and Tim Miller cry: “T2 was a mega-blockbuster-smash-hit!”. Granted. However, the reason it became a mega-blockbuster-smash-hit is because it ended the Terminator story.

All the wrong elements are credited for the film’s success, and this fatal misunderstanding is what has led Hollywood down the wrong path for decades. Yes, the film had a mind-bending (for the time) liquid-metal villain, terrific action sequences and enjoyably quotable…

Star Trek Generations should’ve been The Avengers for the mid-nineties: two hugely popular Star Trek sagas were finally combined into a single cinematic universe. Scotty and La Forge, Chekhov and Data, Kirk and Picard. In the same damn movie!

Instead, it was more of an anti-Avengers, managing to annoy fans of both Enterprise crews, leaving critics shrugging their shoulders and general audiences just plain bored. Where did it all go wrong? And was there the germ of a much better movie buried in there somewhere?

If you were Next Gen agnostic (as I was, and remain) there’s nothing here to…

Photo by Element5 Digital from Pexels

Before the British people embarked on the labyrinthine process of democratically extricating themselves (and their country) from the European Union, they would’ve been wise to heed an oft-quoted warning from the President of the European Commission:

“There can be no democratic choice against the European treaties”

– Jean-Claude Juncker, Le Figaro, 28 January 2015

The democratic choice

The EU Referendum held in the United Kingdom on 23 June 2016 posed the straightforward question:

“Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?”

(In)famously, 17.4 million people (17,410,742 to be precise) or 51.9% voted to Leave the…

Credit: Disney

(and miscellaneous observations.)

The snake devours its tail

Star Wars has nearly finished eating itself. “Let the past die” was Rian Johnson’s mantra in The Last Jedi: this teaser reads as Abrams sticking two fingers up to everything from the previous film. Indeed, if the whole movie is as much of a direct refutation of ‘Johnsonism’ as the teaser implies, on a meta level it’s going to be far more entertaining than the film itself.

If I were J.J. Abrams, and I wanted to prepare the world for the biggest press of an “Undo” button in the history of cinema, I might well open my…

Ian Harrington

Coherent by the fifth edit. arubaperhaps.com

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